Sunday, February 21, 2010
Today in Primary during Singing Time we were learning a song about the atonement and Christ's sacrifice for us. The chorister asked (without thinking), "What does it mean to die?" To which a little girl replied, "They turn yellow!" Another boy added, "And they bleed!" The little girl then proceeded to tell us that we needed to sing Rock-A-Bye-Baby. After another fifteen minutes of enduring that, the chorister finally looked up and asked, "Am I done?" and walked to the back of the room. I love my job.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Stayed up too late. Ended up sleeping in too late. Skipped the gym. Got in an argument with a friend. Got in an argument with a sibling. And another sibling. Got in an argument with my mom about arguing with my siblings. Can't find a job. Broke my phone. And iPod. And flat-iron. Got in another argument with siblings...and mom. Took a walk. Froze on my walk. Came home from my walk early. Wanted sugar. Couldn't find sugar. Discovered we actually don't have any sugar. Baked a cake with honey, instead. Almost burned the cake. Missed a phone call. Got in another argument with a sibling. "Forgot" to clean my room. Stressed about school applications. Stressed about job applications. Stressed about money. Stressed about burned-ish cake. Skipped institute. Tried to learn a new song on my piano. Failed at learning a new song on the piano. Sibling told me I suck at playing the piano. Needed a nap. Couldn't take a nap. Decided to write. Got high off Sharpie fumes. Decided to write with a normal pen. Failed at writing with a normal pen. Decided to blog instead. Ate almost-burned cake. It's still only 4:30 p.m.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Warm cookies with cold milk. Birds singing. Getting mail. Fresh snow sparkling on the grass. Going through the car wash. Finding money in my coat pocket. The smell of laundry detergent. New socks. Sunshine. Toothpaste. The first day of summer. A walk around Temple Square. Inside jokes. An unexpected phone call. Rain. Music. Hugs. Jumping into a pile of raked leaves. Potato chips. Puffs tissues. Make up. Blue jeans. Being called "dear." Sharpies. Laying on the trampoline in the sun. Shakespeare. My piano. Dishwashers. Scrabble. Deep conversations. Falling asleep watching a good movie. Laughing. Crying. Weddings. Puppy kisses. Snuggles. Sharpened pencils. Earrings. Finding an old picture. Light bulbs. Memories. The heater. And A/C. Surprise flowers. Listening to the washing machine. Ceiling fans. New friends. Smiles. Prayers. Holding hands. Finding something lost. Paper plates. Saunas. The library. Long walks. Chapstick. Internet. Forgiveness. Shoes. Primary songs. Missionaries. Family parties. Concerts. Lotion. Bubble baths. Road trips. Sunrises. Sunsets. Headphones. The beach. God. Accomplishing something. Time. Writing letters. The Gospel. Candles. Wind. Massages. Vitamins. Cameras. Nachos at midnight. The Office. Super Mario. Long lost relatives. Museums. My mom. Coupons. Old books. Colors. Hope. Kindness. Love. Good days. Family.
Friday, February 12, 2010
I think there comes a time in everyone's life (at least once) when we wish we owned a time machine. Or that one existed. Or something. We make mistakes that effect our future so subtly and yet so tremendously. We wish we could change it all for the best. Certain recent events have definitely left me wishing for a time machine.
If I could go back, how far would I go? One week? A month? Six? A year? Two years? What would I change? That, my friends, is the million dollar question. Yet I know that if I changed just one small thing, just made one different decision at any time, my life would be too different. I wouldn't have the same people in my life. I would live in a different place. I wouldn't be me.
I suppose the solution is to live in such a way that in the future we won't want to look back and regret things. Life happens. We are constantly faced with choices, but we have no idea how, or if, they will influence our future. There will always be times when I will wish I'd said or done something different. I guess I just have to realize the fact that there is no going back. We can't dwell on these regrets. We have to keep moving on and learning from the past. Our decisions and choices make us who we are. Would I trade that? Would I trade me, myself, my personality, to change my past? Not for the world.
I know I've definitely made some bad calls in the past. At times I have wished more than anything to have a time machine so I can fix it. Unfortunately, to dwell on these mistakes would consume me. I can't let that happen to me. We need to accept what has happened and know it happened for a reason. My mistakes make me Bonnie. No one else on the earth has made the exact same mistakes that I have. I'm the only me out there.
So I believe it's time for me (and everyone) to give up on our plans and throw away those blueprints for that time machine. Time for us to face the future. It's the only way we can be happy with ourselves and our lives. Why waste our precious time wishing for something that will never happen?
Don't look back. Don't regret. Just live.
Sooo...I'm new at this whole "blogging" thing. I figured, though, since I'm not keeping up with my journal, and this is kind of like a journal, I'd do this instead. Plus, it's a lot more fun, because people can see it. Yay!
So let's get started. I'm 19. Currently living in SLC, UT. Looking for a job. Not succeeding with that. Ummm.
Oh! I went to my first "official" concert this past week: Jack's Mannequin. Pretty much my favorite band. Ever. It was amazing. Once upon a time someone told me that I wouldn't be able to handle concerts; that I would pass out, or get trampled, etc. I proved that person so wrong. I worked my way to the very front, jumped up and down, sang along with (almost) all the songs...It was one of the best experiences of my life.
Aaand that's about it. I'll tune in later when I'm feeling more creative. Bye for now!