Fences

I'm not very constant.
I'm extremely indecisive and I can never make up my mind. From candy to classes to books to careers...I just can't do it. Maybe I'm just afraid of commitment. But if I buy this candy, I won't be able to enjoy that one. If I read this book, will I ever get to that one? It's a constant internal battle - and I always seem to be the loser.
Why? Why is this?
I'll stress and stress and stress until I finally decide on something and I'll get super excited about it and all...and then....BAM. Change of mind. Change of heart. It's inevitable. It won't be exciting anymore. I'll know I made the wrong choice and the candy won't taste so sweet as I thought it would. The anxiety, stress, and frustrations of my choice will sink in and I'll be absolutely and incurably miserable.
An old friend recently summed up my exact feelings:

"Fences aren't all that fun to sit on, especially when both sides of the fence are more fun than the fence itself.

Both sides are good (not like sin vs. righteousness),

yet both sides take me away from the other side of the fence,

and both depend on my choices and the choices of others.

I want both, but this fence is hurting my backside.

I wish I could just choose a side."

(Thank you, Krista Nielsen)

Must I choose a side? Personally, I am now completely okay with my indecisiveness. Truly. Completely and one-hundred-percent. It took me a while. Believe me, it did. But I actually like my indecisiveness. Besides the sore bum, the fence is quite nice. I can see everything from up here. My vision isn't blocked by a towering, ugly wall. Because I am on a fence!

Can't I have my cake and eat it too? (Is that the right phrase for this kind of dilemma?) Really.

I think sitting on the fence is just fine.

What's wrong with waiting it out? Sizing up one's options? Weighing the pros and cons of the situation? I don't see the problem. I'll decide eventually, I'm sure. But for now...Don't knock down my fence. No one wants to get stuck with unhappy consequences because of a stupid, impulsive decision.